How Photography Has Betrayed Me

Photography has betrayed me.

It’s given me an out under the facade of going in.

It’s become an emotional to do list too long to ever conquer.

Just as I brain dump my ideas and to do tasks onto a paper in an effort for relief and fake accountability, I take pictures when I’m seeing something that feels too much, thinking- I’ll feel this later.

My friend asked me the other day in response to my photographic frustration- “can’t that moment be enough? The thisness of that moment and why you photographed it?”- can’t it be whole on it’s own without feeling like there’s a further emotional processing that needs to happen?

It was such a wonderful question that felt like buoyant possibility.
And I immediately felt the answer I didn't want...nope.

Today I ask you one of the most important questions anyone can be asked in life- the same question that revealed my sophisticated subconscious self sabotage that made me consider putting the camera down for a while.

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